Posting...

New blog posted at my main site...

http://blog.justabear.com/

UPDATE!!!

I am testing out a new blog format on my personal domain. Please see that site for updates. See link below:

Just A Bear Blog...

Hurm.....

Pride....

I don't need a parade, or a festival to be proud of who I am. I appreciate the desire to go hang out with friends, and to see old friends, but do we really need a special event to get together?

What happened to socializing with your friends on weekends, or in the afternoon/evening over coffee?

Why the parade? Am I so old that now I see it for what it is? Why are we advertising things that really I wouldn't let my own kids watch?

D's on Bikes...I love you, but really? DO you need to go bare boobed and put black electrical tape across the bits?

Leather men, I keep my practices in my own home, and on occasion the bars, but ass open chaps? Granted there are a few men out there that my god can they fill out chaps but really...its like a nude beach anymore. The people you want to see nekked you never do and those you do, you never want to see nekked.

What happened to being strong for who and what we are?

I guess I just dont get it anymore. Maybe thats why Im single.

meh

Just Meh, I know there is more to say but damned if I know what. I'm just blank and its rather frustrating.

Massoud Buys Lunch....

My ever awesome boss decided to buy my team lunch today so we packed away in cars and drove the the Kabob House.

Interesting place..we took up 90% it and we are only 16 people.

Food...Ok.

Drinks Ok....

Getting to just hang with co-workers was a great time.  Even got to go for Avocado Bubble tea after dinner. 

Things going along smoothly until one of my more favorite peeps tells us all his last day is the 29th.   Granted he's doing a bike ride across the us and back and thats great for him, but I will miss him. 

So we're pulling out of the lot in the bosses Lincoln and mid you this is a big red beast of a vehicle and some schmuck in a prius decides she can just drive right on past.  Lets see Prius vs Lincoln big ass vehicle.  Prius lost and quite deservedly so.  Although I do feel bad for my boss as he's had some issues with this monster since he bought it.

Anyways....2 hrs later and Im still burping kabob... LOL 

PONG!!!

So today in the world of Y TAE Team Pong, had a short match game at lunch with Nate and David, and then a wear me out session perfecting new serves with David.  I seriously need to get my own paddle.  Well one for the table for those of you that know me well. LOL

Ok back to work.

Hurm.....

As many of you know this is my sounding board.  More-so for myself than others, and its a way for me to vent out either frustrations or thoughts that come to me that I don't feel I can just easily turn to my neighbor and ask.

With that being said many people have approached me after some of my posts asking if it was about them.  I'm not a shy person when it comes to my feelings or thoughts and if ya bent me enough to post about it let me tell ya kiddo it would have your name on it.  Forgive and forget is great for some, but for me its remember and revisit.  Do I dwell on it?  No, but I will eventually throw it back atcha at sometime or another when it suits me.

Moving on.

I've posted to a position that would take me away from Oregon.  Good idea?  I dont know, I wont know till I try it.  I love my home in Oregon but sometimes we have to take chances to progress our lives forward.  I love my job and what I do but I need to take that next step.  I need to know that I've continued to reach and attempt to grow rather than find contentment in my current situation.

Dont get me wrong there is nothing wrong with being content in your situation, just for me I want more.  I want the next step, and if I have to move to get it, well so be it.

Alright I've blabbered long enough, here's to ya.  Oh yeah and please dont be shy click the ads, believe it or not I get paid for it :).

Take care.

Fun Times

Just a couple shots from our weekend.  We have a bad habit of finding and playing in photo booths!

()*&)(*&)*()* - Sigh okay somewhat better now....

So why is it Mondays are so inclined to suck?

I get in my car to head to work and I am pulled over two blocks from home.  Great...OK, I can do this.  I get the usual, "Do you know why I pulled you over?"  Quick check running through my head, ok swerved so I didn’t hit the old lady, no animals stuck to my grill, I haven’t went far enough to hit a light yet, so no...  Can’t say that I do.

 You've got a headlight out...SON; let me start with one of my biggest pet peeves...the word son.  Are you mah daddah??  No...  So don’t FARKING CALL ME SON!  Ok so force a smile and say thank you....never mind his crotch is in my window and I could seriously see myself grabbing a handful with a twist to see how quickly the fkr drops to his knees...but no...  I must behave.  Oh really officer?  Must have just happened.  I'll get right on that at my lunch hour from work.  Make nice, smile, and go to work now.

I get two blocks down the road and another F'n cop pulls me over.  Now for those that know me I am a pro cop supporter, but this is really trying my nerves...

I only have one other pet peeve that will get ya hit and that’s calling me BOY.  I am no one’s boy.  Must control fist o' death.  Ok force a smile I still have time to get to work.  Smiling I look up and ok your hot so I guess the temper can ease off a bit.  Ok get to work that’s my internal mantra.  Thank cop nod and pretend to be concerned.  It’s a freaking headlight and its near daylight so please just let me go.

Ya know I can give ya a ticket?  Really fucking give me a ticket just let me go!  I have to get to work!

Smile, nod, smile, don’t kill the guy, smile...ok let me go...yay we're driving to work now....

Lunch rolls around and its 45 mins to change the damn bulb, my hands are cut, and I’m in a mood.

Gotta love Mondays.

Palm!?!?

So I read today that Palm was acquired by HP.  Kind of exciting! I cant wait to see what HP does with it.  I own a Palm Pre' and I love the device, I just wish more companies would develop for it.  Seems like everything out there is for the Iphone. 

Write more soon, as I am starting to feel much, much better. 

A Promise....

Sorry everyone, I've had the death flu and really have not been up that long throughout the day.  Today is my second day back at work and in all honestly I get home and pass out, wake up and do it over again.  Im hoping to write more this evening when I get home before knocking off to sleep.

(''')Bearhugz(''') and will talk to you all soon.

PING PONG!!!

Just finished a great game with Nate, and let me tell ya, I'm wore out. 

I love playing the game when people actually have fun and don't criticize your serve or form.  Dood its just a game lets relax and smash that lil' fkr until it breaks :)

Another Day......

Its funny.

I feel the excitement of finding an old friend online, I send a messge, and then no response.  Odd....Must have not clicked send.  I'll send another.....and I wait.....and wait....

Oh look...nope..not him.

Wait!  I have mail...oh...Russian brides, yeah you did your market research buddy...Im all about a russian bride, are they male??  Nope...

Odd...I can see you read the email, why dont you respond?  I thought we had something special, a friendship that transcended the BS. 

I guess not. 

Oh look new email, I can take a pill to get larger.......

Humph, just what I need to be...  larger.  Coulda sworn I had a shirt in my closet that says Im huge in Japan. 

Sadly there are no magic pills to make everything better.  Shame...I really could use a fuckitall. 

Late Night Musings...

Ok so why is it that only late at night the bug to write hits? Maybe its because I am alone in bed, something I hate and it forces me to think. Think about the men that I tend to fall in love with, the men that I find so appealing yet so hard to hold on to.

I dont know why I fall in love with men out of my reach but I do. There's something about the masculine man that holds my heart in a vice. Yet every man I display my heart to seems to look at it....notice it...maybe pet it, indulge it for just a moment..a moment of sheer ecstasy, an orgiastic split second where the walls drop and I let go. I give to the feeling completely only to snap to and see him gone, a small trail of what my love could have been leading away from me.

You wonder why Im bitter? Why should anyone be out of anyone elses' reach? Why should anyone have to feel that they are not worthy of what they might find "loveable". Screw social tiers and houses. So what if Im a bear and your a straight man, it doesn't make my love any less real.

FK this Im going to bed, looks like its me and my pillow yet again.

New Blog..

Ok Working on a new blog. Stay tuned for updates!